I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
