When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
