I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
