Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
