By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
