I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
