I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My bed smells like the plague
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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