You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
