He had one of those small greek statue penises
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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