Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
