Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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