Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
