Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is Oprah even human
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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