If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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