We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
