Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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