I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Never underestimate the power of titties
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
