I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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