**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
