Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
