Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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