So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
