Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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