i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
