i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
