i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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