Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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