she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
