some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
