we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
