I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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