I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
