I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
