You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
