Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
