I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
