I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
