im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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