Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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