Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
