If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
