Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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