Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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