You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
