And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
