I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
