I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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