D3 body, D1 cock
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
