The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
