Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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