You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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